


High School Friendship

by RussianCaravan



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Depressing, Depression, Friendship, Friendship breakdown, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Isolation, Loneliness, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Social Exclusion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 17:31:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3737455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RussianCaravan/pseuds/RussianCaravan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alice had an incredible group of friends who had so much fun together. Had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	High School Friendship

Alice couldn't tear her eyes away from her laptop screen. There, every single one of her good friends of four long years, stood together. She saw happiness in their very eyes. They were all at Gilbert’s Birthday Party. All of them. Smiles and laughter, silly faces and ridiculous angles, bad karaoke and too-competitive video games, all shown through an album of pictures on Facebook. She felt a sick pinch on her very heart as she continued to scrawl through god-knows how many pictures of, what seems to be, an intensely enjoyable day out…without her.

‘Don’t you dare cry over something so stupid Alice’ she thought, but her eyes had different plans, as tears silently dripped down her cheeks. Doubts that she had willed herself not to dwell on for months came creeping back into her mind. ‘Am I a horrible friend?’ ‘Have all these years been one big joke?’ ‘Am I truly worthless?’

“Don’t do it, please don’t, not over this” she whispered to herself. She couldn't. She refused to ruin her 3 weeks clean over something so stupid…but she had probably just annoyed them. She deserved this. She _always_ deserved this. While she knew she shouldn't, she knew she would regret it later, she knew it was a stupid thing to get worked up over, and most of all, she knew it would only make her loneliness worse… she took out her blades and locked her bathroom door.

 

That Monday at school, she wore a jumper despite the warm weather, and all her friends knew why. Not one offered her help, not one asked how she was feeling, only a few even bothering with a hello. ‘What have I done?’ was what remained on her mind all day, until she overheard something that was never meant for her ears.

“Why the fuck would I have invited her anyway? I don’t want any of her fake-depression, fake-cutting bullshit. She doesn't even try to hide it, I mean for fucks sake.”

“Well-I mean-maybe we should have-“

“Pfft! Why? So she could ruin my awesome day? I only turn 17 once, and I need to make it incredibly awesome, and having a boring downer there would ruin it.”

“I guess you are right, she is a bit hard to talk to—“

“Ex-fucking-xactly. Now c’mon, let’s get to class before Sir gets all pissy.”

Once again, involuntary tears rolled down her cheek as she held her mouth shut. Her own friends…thought that of her. Did they all think that? For how long? Was she really faking being upset? Alice honestly didn't think she had been faking anything but…she did take Drama, maybe she has been acting the entire time and they’re finally seeing through her façade? ‘God, I'm a terrible person, I deserve this’ she thought to herself ‘I deserve everything.’

 

For months, she saw the group whom she once called her friends less and less, to the point all she did was sit vaguely near them, and leave to the library as soon as her food was done. She became a loner. Her nickname from Primary school, ‘the black sheep’, once again fit her…or perhaps it had always fitted her, and she had simply not realised.


End file.
